Glamour Tories

May I be the first to coin a term? It's 'Glamour Tories'. Perhaps it started in 1996 with the Spice Girls, but I suspect it is something more recent than that. The Glamour Tories represent the most reprehensible manifestation of contemporary politics. Just when you thought politics had become as vacuous as you could possibly imagine under Nu Lab, up pop the Tories with their arrogant young 'stylish' Toffs and spoil the show.

The old Tories were despicable on so many levels. They stood for so much I and others could not agree with. But at least we were able to disagree with them. I begrudgingly respect Ann Widdecome. Even the latter-day old Tories of Michael Portillo and Chris Patten were somehow to be taken seriously. Now, we are faced with the abhorrent prospect of Tories trying to go cool. From David 'call me Dave' Cameron to Transsexual-friendly and Charlieesque-hip George Osbourne, the Glamour Tories are a horrible force to be reckoned with. Recently, the repugnant Kirstie Allsopp ('Location, Location, Location' and 'Relocation, Relocation'; how bloody imaginative) appeared on Question Time and demonstrated the 'qualities' the Glamour Tories rely on: Essentially they espouse the usual neo-liberal consensus with its seemingly inoffensive commentary on social and cultural issues (when they are actually deeply disturbing) and its desire to place numbers and capitalism at the forefront. So the look they are going for is 'cool and capitalist', like the Tories, just trying to be 'cool' (Nu Toree anyone?).

So there we have it: David 'call me Dave' Cameron, George Osbourne, Justine Greening (Tooting MP), Kirstie Allsopp et al conprise what I would call 'Glamour Tories'. I just googled it (with quotation marks and all), and the expression isn't to be found. So here it is: 'Glamour Tories'. And don't forget and shiver: They might be our next government...shudder.